إدعاء الموت: الفرزدق خلف الله عليان

قبل أن أموت بنصف ساعة، طويت الصفحة رقم 103 من كتاب رائحة الجوافة لبيلينيو أبوليو مندوزا، ثم شعرت بالجوع فجأة وقد إستفزتني رائحة حساء العدس الشهية الذي تعده جارتي الطيبة، بحثت عن وعاء نظيف لأذهب إليها وأطلب القليل، وكالعادة لا يوجد، فقط حملت بطني الفارغة طرقت بابها بطريقتي المعهودة، طرقتان متتاليتين، طرقة، طرقتان أُخر وهكذا حتى تفتح، دخلت وأنا أبادلها الإبتسامة وأنفي مصوب نحو طاولة الآكل. حينما أحضرت إلي طبقي، لم تسألني هل أعجبك، فقط كانت تمرر معلقتها على طبقها كانها تحركه ليبرد، ولم تفعل شئ آخر غير ذلك، سألتها بعدما إبتلعت لقمتي الثالثة، مابك؟ نظرت إلي بتثاقل وقالت: أنا حزينة، حزينة للغاية، ثم واصلت التحديق بدوران ملعقتها، وتركتني أبحث عن ما يجعلني محط حزن، فأنا عادة أترك ورائي ذكرى صدئة، ينسوني ما إن وليتهم ظهري، ولا يتذكرونني إلا عند حضوري، حيث لأ أترك في مخيلة أحدهم أي صورة عني، هذا إن ظهرت عليهم بالأساس، فأنا منذ عصر ذاك اليوم الممطر، قبل عشرة سنوات، واصبحت إطلالتي للعالم ضئيلة، فقط أخرج مساء لأدرك بأني حي، أو لشراء بعض الكتب حينما أستلم راتبي القاعدي، المرة الوحيدة التي زارني فيها شخص كان هو ساعي البريد، جائني يحمل لي رزمة رسائل وكتاب كنت قد اوصيته به، تناولنا القهوة، ولعبنا الشطرنج إلي ما قبل المغيب، لكنه لم يحدثني بأي شئ عن الرسائل فقط إكتفى”ربما عليك إعادة صياغتها” ثم أردف”ومن ثم حرقها” فرشت رسائلي المائة وعشرون أمامي وبدأت في قرائتها واحدة تلو الأخرى..

“عزيزتي رسيل، يجب ان تعودي هذا الطقس يلتهمني في غيابك”

“..تلك الأمطار تبحث عنك بغزارة، من كل ثقب تتسلل إليّ لتسألني عنك، أغرقتني بالإلحاح”

“أخبرتني تلك الزهرة بمدى إشتياقها إليك، ثم اهدتني عطرا جميل”

والكثير من الرسائل التي كتبتها لعشر سنوات، شهريا كنت أبعث برسالة، دون ملل، وكنت موقن تماما بأن هذه الدوامة من الإنتظار ستنتهي، إلي ان جائني ذلك الساعي واخبرني بتلك الفكرة المجنونة، حرق الذكريات، هكذا اسميتها، احضرت سيجارة وكوب قهوة واشعلت النار في الرسائل المائة وعشرون وجلست أرقب ظلي المتراقص على الحائط، حينها فقط علمت أن الضوء يبعث إلي برسائله، على ان اتخلص من وحدتي وبؤسي، وخرجت أتبع خيط نكهة العدس إلي ان وصلت لمنزل جارتي الطيبة، والتي إستقبلتني بترحاب كبير، بغير العادة، خصوصا وكل ما اعرفه عنها، أنها إمرأة السر، لا يعرف عنها شئ، الجميع قالوا أنهم أستيقظوا ذات صبيحة ووجدوها تسعى بينهم، وهذا ما أكده لي ساعى البريد حينما أرديت وزيره قتيلا، وكل هذا لا يهم الآن، ما أود قوله، أنها بعد برهة من سؤالي لها، واصلت: علي ان أخبرك الأن بسر، وأعلم تماما بأنك لن تبوح به، فأنت ميت منذ عشرة أعوام لقد وجدوك متفحما في منزلك. ولكن كيف لي أن أحادثكم الآن إن كنت حقا ميت؟ الأموات لا يتحدثون، لا يكتبون، كيف تقرأني الآن، وماذا تتوقع بعد كل هذا الهراء، عجيب أمرك ايها الحي، أما زلت تنتظرني لأخبرك ماذا فعلت بعد نصف ساعة، حسنا يجب ان تموت الآن لتفهم ما اقول وكفاك إدعاء.

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